They are complicated, that is what we say about relationships.
We are mistaken.
Relationships are simple.
Only the people complicate them (to themselves).
The relationship is a part of life. Like in the normal life, it applies, therefore, that a relationship is what we do in it repeatedly. If the habits with which we approach the partner hurt them or us, they do not help the relationship. That is how simple it is.
In the book 250 Laws of Love, I was already showing from what little things huge complications arise. Sure, no man has fallen from the sky learned – in a relationship either – all of us learn. However, how about maximally simplifying our relationship from this day onwards and, therefore, make it more efficient? How about mastering that nearly primitive thinking with your partner?
Do not be afraid, you will not be alone. I am a primitive, too. The reason is that I like a maximally simple life: to say what I think and to do what I say. Everything else is too complicated for me.
Therefore, what positive habits can change the whole relationship?
1. Silence is better than a hateful word
Martin Luther King said: “Darkness can never push out darkness. Only light can do it. In the same way, hate can never push out hate. Only love can do it.”
Let us think about it.
Negation is a negative energy, hence something that removes the good energy out of us. If we are equipped with hate e.g. in our argument with our partner, it will remove the best from us. Then we can notice that at the moments when we are not able to control our emotions, thoughts and acts, such emotions, thoughts and acts start ruling over us.
At such a moment, we forget WHY we actually hate, WHAT we actually hate and WHOM we actually hate. We forget that at that moment we actually hate and destroy a person whom we love so much. And what is even worse, at that moment we hate and destroy ourselves because in a short while we will regret that strongest speech of our life, we will feel sorry for it, it will hurt and scorch us – much more than if we managed to be silent at that moment.
Before giving instructions to the mind to start producing poisons within us, imagine every pretence for hate as an inadaptable tenant in our head and in our heart. If we do not want them there, simply “increase the rent”. How to do it?
If we want to eliminate something in the relationship, do not use any negations, in particular hate, to achieve it. You might rather detach yourself from such a dangerous conversation, go aside and do not look back.
That evil will evaporate. And a reason will appear why to embrace each other without words because it is WHY we are with somebody, WHAT we will be with them and WHOM we actually need.
Why is the truth simpler than a lie?
Why do people take away our time only by being afraid to tell us the truth that they have ceased counting on us?
How to cope with the truth that is painful?
Please, continue to the 2nd page.