7+1 proposals on how not to complicate your relationship any more

No, relationships are not difficult. We just complicate them.
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Do you want to know something? Just ask. Is something bothering you? Bring it up. Do you want  something? Just go for it. The important thing is that you shouldn’t keep these thoughts inside. Let them out so they can take on a life of their own. Your other half is here to help you, and they will. A friend is someone who lets you help, so be a friend.

“Relationships are so complicated,” is something I hear a lot.

“Only if we complicate them,” is my usual reply.

Relationships are as complicated as we choose to make them, so I try to keep mine as simple as possible, just as Eduard Tomas taught me.

A knot in a string

He would have been celebrating his 110th birthday next year. He was a wise mystic and one of the kindest people I have ever met; he pulled a string tight in front of my eyes and said: “Peter, this string is your life. The knot I make in it will represent your problem and its complications. Accept the knot. It is yours. It part of your life, and even if you untie it the knot will remain hidden in the history of the string. Better to try and make as few knots as possible.” I will not forget his words. “Your life must be simple…”

(By the way, Eduard was a beautifully simple person. When he met the Dalai Lama for the first time, they looked at each other in astonishment, froze, said nothing and then started laughing like children. They knew each other from a previous life which I could not comprehend. Their conversation did not start with introductions, they just dived into reminiscing about things that happened in the Middle Ages. I wouldn’t have believed it if I hadn’t seen it. What an eye-opener! It will be 15 years in May since Eduard passed away; he was ninety four.)

In every moment, there are two possibilities

You can cry together and hurt each other or laugh and enjoy the life. Which would you prefer?

I show in couple of articles how to bound up with trivialities relationships can be, and how we are able to start loving when we stop harming. How we are able to heal when we stop hurting. How we are able to move forwards when we stop discouraging. In short, how amazingly the relationship can burst into bloom when we stop trampling on it.

This issue is about all types of relationships and has sections that focus on partners, work and our internal relationship – the way we relate to ourselves.

I want to simplify human thinking. Because what is simple and straightforward is effective. To quote Einstein, “Eveything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler.”

The Body lets us know

“Whenever we worry,” Eduard Tomas used to say, “it is because we make things complicated in that moment. The body has an internal short circuit – it senses the conflict between what we think and what we say; or between what we say and what we really do;”

He added: “The body always issues us with ongoing updates. It forces us to be worried, to feel anxious. It gives us random aches and only lets us think about the cause of our worrying. The body wants us to have a simple life so it plagues us with panic until we do something to fix it.”

“Why do we complicate our lives so much? When we lie to others, we lose them, but what about when we lie to ourselves? How can we think that we do not lose anything? Why are we surprised that we do not like ourselves, that we do not appreciate ourselves, that we do not respect ourselves, that we do not trust ourselves? Would we appreciate, respect and trust another person who would treat us in the same way as we sometimes treat ourselves? Probably not!

What can we do for ourselves? How can we find a way to help ourselves?  These questions often lead us not only towards ourselves but also to others.

This is about the small changes that can make a huge difference in our lives, in our relationships with ourselves and with others.

“Your thinking must be simple,” Eduard Tomas used to say, so what do we need to do? 

Not much. Let me show you what small changes are needed to keep a relationship happy.

Please, continue to the 2nd page.