How to find a best friend in yourself: 8 vows to make to yourself

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Motto: Don’t blame others for breakups and betrayals. You know that anyone can condemn you, harm you, or hurt you. Learn to rely on the only person who will stay with you, for the rest of your life. You. Find a best friend in yourself.

My acquaintance was in the process of hiring new employees. He added an unusual question in the applicant questionnaires: What do you believe in?

They believed in God – in something that steers their course.

Or in fate – regardless of what they do, or don’t do, what will be, will be.

Or in money.

In everything, but themselves.

Not one person wrote “I believe in myself”.

In fact, whenever we seek a best friend in ourselves, rather than around us, life becomes easier. It’s a shame for us to make life harder for ourselves. Life is already hard. Often, the only way to triumph over evil is to move from the place where we feel bad. To free ourselves from the words of those who try to tell us what we can and can’t achieve. Almost as though we were tiny, remote control cars.

We can move forward, simply by telling ourselves that we will move forward. By making a positive commitment. Not to others, but to ourselves. Personal mantras have tremendous power. They determine our worth and, at the same time, help us realize that we’re the only thing in between us and our goals. Not God, not fate, not money.

If we so wish, we can re-engage in the battlefield, try again, and try harder. If we so wish, we can start to laugh louder, and longer. At any given moment, we can start to make vows, and abide by them forever.

Now, I’m not talking about sports, diet, and lifestyle. I’m talking about inner commitments, independent of time, state and circumstances. I know these following eight points by heart. 81 words. I repeat them every morning when I run. In my head. To myself. If you want, repeat after me: I vow that…

Vow 1: I will not use the past against myself

All failures, weaknesses, regrets and mistakes…

Teach you, if you are willing to learn.

Or hurt you, if you are not willing to learn.

So, let them teach you daily. If you regret any past decisions, let them go. Don’t be so hard on yourself.

You did the best you could at the time, with the knowledge and experience you had at that time. Your decision was made with a younger mind. If you made the same decisions today, you would decide differently, for sure. Time and experience allow you to develop, and grow.

Looking back, we always feel we were immature and small. And that’s good. It shows how much we’ve grown, since then. And that we have learned to make better decisions. For us, and those we care about.

Thank the past for teaching you to make better decisions.

Vow 2: I hold the responsibility for my life, and I will never give it up

We blame our parents, our teacher, the system, the government, for our failures… but never ourselves. It’s almost as though it has never, ever, been our fault. And that’s the biggest mistake we make in life. Fortunately, this is OUR mistake.

It’s fortunate, because it means we can stop doing so, at any time. We can decide to leave it behind, and move on.

You are the only person who can do it.

How? Stop blaming others and stop blaming yourself. Whenever we stop using too many negative words, there’s silence, ready for some positive ones. Positive words are always a step forward, because they’re tied to positive thoughts. And positive thoughts lead to positive actions.

Be like a window, made of coloured glass. When the sun shines, reflect, glitter, and shine. And when darkness comes around, maintain your beauty, by turning on the light inside.

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