“Great joy can only be felt by a person who has known great pain.” Liz Taylor
There, where nobody would expect her, on a mountain switchback and chilled to the bone in the morning, stood a hitch-hiker.
“Anywhere, please,” she said, and she was lucky. That’s exactly where I was going.
I don’t know what she was hurrying away from, but I know what she was taking—lots of pain and darkness. As though she had entered a tunnel and there was no light by which she could work out where to go.
Have you ever experienced this? You want to get over something so much, but it’s impossible and you’re losing strength? And the more you try (in vain), the more you feel like packing it all in?
In the time I have been writing 250 Laws of Love, I have met lots of talented people that were, at some point, wounded by circumstances; an event, a person. And they couldn’t get up for the pain itself. They couldn’t start to concentrate on anything else but what put them on the ground. Only on the negatives. And you can’t get a positive feeling, which is the basis of a positive change, from negative ideas.
They thought about what was hurting them, and it couldn’t be forgotten. It’s a special, bleeding wound in the heart. It cannot be bandaged, cleaned with oxide, or operated on. The pain blurs the difference between living and surviving.
While she was quiet, I was quiet too.
“Tell me something,” she said suddenly.
So I talked and she was quiet. She listened. For three hours.
I told her about a man that was looking for happiness. He knocked on the gate of a monastery and a monk opened it. “Certainly, we have a recipe for happiness here. It’s behind that door,” he said, pointing to the only locked one. “But I can’t give you the key, because you’re not a monk.” So the man asked him what he had to do to become a monk. “You would have to go out into the world and count how many blades of grass and grains of sand there are in it.” The man obeyed and, for many long years, walked the earth—the rocks, the beaches, the cities, the woods—and counted and counted. He returned to the monastery and told the monk the astronomical numbers. “OK,” said the monk. “Here’s the key.” The man opened the door and was amazed. There was a huge stone behind it. He rolled it away with all his strength and was again amazed. The corridor was full of a mass of coal. With his bare hands he shovelled all the coal away and was again amazed. There was a heavy iron gate. With the last of his strength he moved the terrible barrier and, at that moment, he saw it.
“What?” asked the girl.
“I can’t tell you—you’re not a monk.”
She laughed. At least something.
“What can a person do to get rid of pain?” she asked, now a little more relaxed.
Are you sometimes interested in this?
So let’s go through what helps us swim from the banks of Pain to the banks of Reconciliation, even if nobody is close.
1) Invest in Yourself
No, hide your cash, put your credit card down. You won’t need them. Maybe you don’t know, but you can invest commodities more valuable than mere money. Primarily, you can invest time and sincerity.
Define the situation you are in. Without adornment. And then say what you need—and what you can do to get it. For example: People who lock themselves away behind a hundred locks need exactly the opposite—open the windows wide and feel the fresh air flowing. Or people that switch off their exhausted head need to get it going, but in the opposite direction—replace worries with joys, deep ideas with brainlessness, all-day responsibility with complete irresponsibility and craziness. People who are wasting away in the boredom and still waters of their life need movement. Each positive change obviously requires effort. But it’s worth it.
Pain is linked to the past, which we can’t repair. But we can change it in our mind—all we have to do is stop losing power over the future. This also releases our present.
The investment is in our future. As soon as we start to work on our future so that there is no pain in it, the pain in our life remains, but only in an archive called the Past.
How to learn to differentiate between people in your environment?
Please, continue to the 2nd page