On the islands I like for their stable and warm climate, there are many stray dogs. This is strange. You pass them, and they are strangers to you. You don’t care about them and they don’t care about you.
Until the moment you start liking one of them on the beach. The dog, in spite of its cautiousness, finds a path to you, and you give it some food and domesticate it. Everything changes at that moment.
You begin to recognise the dog and it starts recognising you. You look forward to seeing it and the dog looks forward to being with you. In some strange way, you begin to need the dog and vice versa.
It ceases to be one of thousands of dogs. It starts being the one and only dog.
When it doesn’t appear for a while, you have a strange feeling, perhaps even anxiety. When the dog isn’t in a good shape, you feel responsible for it.
Yes, the relationship starts as joy and turns into responsibility. This is not the case only with dogs. It is the same with flowers. Or with people.
Why you should look for a good person
For years, you live with the feeling that you don’t need anyone. You don’t have a relationship with anyone else. Or, you long for that person and try to find the right companion.
To this day, the wonder of finding the right person amazes me. Consider this: We have not sailed the seven seas, scoured three quarters of a million islands, travelled two hundred and six countries or gotten to know all seven and half billion people. And yet – we feel that we have found the one.
Or have we?
How can we tell? How do we recognise the person with whom we are least likely to waste our time? With whom do we stand a better chance of staying longer, or perhaps forever, in a satisfying relationship?
Many of us have been burnt in previous relationships. We tend to doubt more than we trust. We hold back more than we open up. We are more likely to be careful than to fall head over heels in love.
This is good.
We have experienced people who, after we have made ninety-nine steps trying to get closer to them, will only remember the one step we have not made. People who wilfully burn the bridge between us and are later surprised that they cannot find a way to us; who keep looking for mistakes in us as if there were a special reward for each of these discoveries…
But we also know that we have to get rid of this waste from our heads. That it’s time to clean up. To let in the person who will put things right inside us. The one who will give us the most wonderful feeling. What is that feeling? Being loved by someone we love.
Dogs can do this and so do flowers. They return the energy we have invested in them.
But people are different.
When we created the special Valentine gift sets with cards, I was conscious of how important it is to let the other person know what they mean to us. Perhaps some of the things they cannot know: When we are with them, we feel strangely safe from the pain hurting us from the inside; from the pain from work, disappointment with friends or relatives, from our own mistakes. This is what a relationship with the right person can do.
This is the relationship we don’t want to lose. It helps us stand up when we are shaking. It restores our energy, values, self-confidence. Because – in just four words – it is so different.
How to find a good person
Do you remember just how must time we have spent suffering for people who did not suffer for us?! Hating those who drained our energy! Taking vengeance on those who hurt us!
We have wasted so much energy paying attention to the wrong people. We felt angry that the other person does not try to address our difficulties. Yet, all we needed to do was have someone by our side that will face the difficulties with us. Someone who will stand by us even more when troubles arise. Someone who may not agree with us at times but always respects us.
I will now list the 9 main signs of the many indications of the right companion. However, I have to warn those who decide to use the Valentine sets of the adverse effects. Loving from the bottom of one’s heart is like breathing. You cannot stop it.
The other person is like air – they are essential to us. Realising this is crucial. If we want to keep a good person, it will cost us energy the same way caring for a flower or a dog does. However, there is no need to be afraid because we don’t lose here. The invested energy is not lost. Certainly not if we have the right person.
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