We don’t understand men. They have different expressions, they give different impressions. They talk differently, they act differently. The look like they’re decent, but then they’re treacherous. They look tough, but then they’re cowardly.
That is what readers of my books say at personal meetings.
It’s strange—when women love diamonds so… They should know that while diamond is the hardest mineral, just one tap with a hammer on a stone’s cleavage line, a sensitive capillary linking the whole structure, and the jewel—wonderful to see—will collapse into dust in a moment.
In the case of men, one of the hammers is words. Sometimes they can destroy a relationship in a moment, while others chip away at a man like a current of water systematically undermining a bank. And now I’ll add the most important thing—the truth of a matter is not important at all. We could even say that truth is sometimes the hardest thing of all to digest for the male ego.
Women are emotional beings. They like acting under the influence of emotions. I recommend expressing the essence of the following words, however, with maximum caution, avoiding it as much as possible or not saying it at all. This is because when water undermines a bank, the land collapses into the water.
“You’re a mummy’s boy!”
In other words: You’re not good enough. You’re not independent enough. You’re not self-sufficient enough. You’re not capable enough. You’re weak.
A mummy’s boy means an overgrown child: An immature individual, still sucking at his mother’s breast even though he’s had his adult teeth for a long time.
Women are prepared by nature for possible motherhood much earlier than men can hold their own ID card, drink alcohol or get behind the wheel of a car. Whereas women perform their maternal role, men can have a serious problem supporting their family—fighting their whole life to get by. It’s not easy for them and they need support, although they never admit it. Mums know it.
They see their son’s partners as thieves of their happiness; insensitive, unable to understand their son the way they—their mothers—do. That’s why they often put a barrier in a couple’s way. And the man experiences Sophie’s choice: Should he be more of a husband (back his wife up) or a son (back his mother up)? What about finding an intersection, a compromise?
Then, every word spoken by a man’s wife against his mother and by his mother against his wife is explosive. “You’re a mummy’s boy” is just as explosive as “You’re under the thumb.” In other words it says, “You can’t put your foot down.”
And so the man puts his foot down; but he acts against the person who reminds him of his weakness.
(How to handle a mother that has too much influence over her son?)
“My ex did this better.”
I repeat: it makes no difference whether it’s true. Women sometimes confuse the truth with honesty. And, when I define honesty as meaning that when I say something it has to be true, rather than just saying everything that is going through my head, they claim that they were “just being honest,” when in reality they were describing to their husband a truth that no man needs to hear.
So, your ex was a better and more attentive lover. What about it?
So, your ex brought you flowers more frequently, had more time for you, shared a lot more. What are you trying to say? That the man who left you/who you left was better than the man you are with now? That you want to go back to your ex? That the mistake is only on my side?
I understand that women are disappointed, sceptical, frustrated. All these are negative feelings that lead to negative ideas and negative actions. But negative actions always bring negative results.
If women want to positively motivate their men, they have to understand that positive results are achieved by positive actions (words). Talk about what you want and what will make you happy. Show your man that you don’t doubt what he is capable of. A real partner’s ego won’t leave him alone until he does what’s right, until he fulfils the woman’s dreams. That’s what makes him happy.
Yes, there’s a small child’s soul in men; but that isn’t a bad thing. Hundreds of years ago, man was the first technological product that did not have to be controlled with a joystick, but with a voice.
If you can do this, you’ll be better than ever before. Everybody else will be ants compared to you. And not the other way around. (How to Be the Best Support for Another)
Please, continue to the 2nd page.