I want to be successful: Rich, fit Have a happy family, a beautiful long-term relationship, a good education. I want to be a role model for others. I want to achieve something. I simply want to be in a better situation than now. – What awaits me?
These are the desires I hear about most frequently.
The person sitting opposite me is determined, motivated, and cannot wait for all of this to happen. However, you will have to excuse me because I have run out of pink paint, so I cannot write this text in pink.
Can you handle absolute honesty? If you want to achieve success in any form in your life, you will need to accept the following 10 brutal facts. This is not an easy read; these facts are like weights. However, if you understand and accept them, you will be stronger and better prepared.
As you know from my coaching blog, rather than an achieved goal, success to me means a well-managed journey. I see success as the ability to overcome obstacles and defeats. The journey to success is like an uphill climb. Nobody has ever fallen to the top of a mountain from the sky. Nobody has ever reached the top by walking a flat road, along the contour line. Every success means strain, control and self-restraint. This is why success is not for everyone: It takes effort.
Are you still willing to stand at the starting line, ready to work on yourselves or the goals you have defined for yourselves despite my warning? Excellent. Brace yourselves – these 10 facts will hurt a lot.
1. The first step is the hardest
This is a step from nothing to something. Karel Vágner, who “foolishly” started selling the most expensive beds worldwide – Hästens, likens the first step to push-starting a yacht in the sea. Yes, it is incredibly hard. However, if you set the ship in motion, it will sail easily, as if by itself.
Everyone who has ever tried to lose weight or get in shape knows this. It doesn’t come easily. The head holds us back when it doesn’t see quick results. This is not a battle with the fridge or with hills – this is a battle with ourselves. We have to stay strong and believe that it will pay off. No success has ever been achieved without the courage to start and the strength to continue.
I highly respect all successful people. I know very well that they weren’t the lucky ones whose knees never shook, or whose heart never skipped a beat. They simply managed their fear and took the first step no matter how much their knees were shaking and how vulnerable they felt.
2. Success does not come quickly or easily
Those who have never achieved anything significant sneer at visualisation and vision boards. However, they are essential. Idealists expect success to happen quickly, only to be disappointed later. Feeling disillusioned, they give up, lose hope, and slander and discourage those who persevere.
Yet, as I point out, everything in our lives that is worth something requires time and effort. A foetus does not mature overnight; even a flower does not grow and bloom in one day. This is what makes every success so valuable.
Perseverance is a characteristic shared by most successful people. They’ve all had a million opportunities to give up, but they refused. They persevered UNTIL they succeeded.
3. You cannot influence everything that happens to you on your journey
Success teaches us two extremes: being patient when you are not doing well and being humble when you are. This is the only combination for keeping the right course.
Nobody can influence everything that happens to them. However, we can all influence how we respond to things that happen to us. The strongest people are not those who have never fallen but those who have fallen time and time again and found a way to get back on their feet each time.
Successful people live on the same planet as the rest of us. They also have 24 hours in every day. They also lose – and falling from a greater height hurts even more. What sets them apart is that they use the difficult moments for their benefit. If you see a shark fin approaching you in the sea, it will give you a greater kick to swim faster than when you see dragonflies flying around you in a pond.
Not having a choice is the best learning experience: You simply have to. Giving up is not an acceptable alternative. This is how you find out that you can rely on yourself. That you have certain capabilities you never knew about because you’ve never needed them before in your comfortable life.
4. If you want to achieve more, you cannot avoid risks
Longing for security essentially means to stop living. Life in itself is no security. Nobody will guarantee tomorrow. Death is the only certainty.
As long as we live, we can take risks. As long as we live, we can enjoy how we doubted ourselves until we managed something. Not knowing whether to exceed ourselves and then pushing the limits further and further – that is a wonderful adrenalin experience. This is when we find out that to succeed, we first need to lose our pathological fear of failure.
The key question I’ve asked myself with every major change in my life is: What is the worst that can happen to me?
5. You are the greatest obstacle you will ever face
If you read my blog, you’ll know how successful people looked at the start: like naïve dreamers, outsiders. They lacked self-confidence or had to face a lack of confidence from people around them. But they overcame this. What did they overcome? Themselves.
Theoretically, any person could manage the same journey. However, not everyone is capable of it in practice. This is because not everyone believes in themselves. Our fear kills many more dreams than failures do. Failure is part of every success – it is a source of clarifying information and a lesson to learn. People who do not give up can never be beaten. This is the basic motto of successful people.
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