First Reason: The truth hurts for a moment, a lie forever.
I talked to both men. What they told me was interesting.
The husband about his wife: “It’s not that I hate her. The right word is: DISAPPOINTMENT. I’m disappointed that she became somebody she always claimed she wouldn’t.”
The lover about the woman: “She told me: ‘I love you.’ I said the same to her. The difference between us is that I wasn’t lying when I said it.”
And they both added: “We’re not sad that she lied to us. We’re sad that from that moment we couldn’t trust her.”
Let’s analyse the last sentence for a moment and remember it whenever we want to lie to somebody.
Why is a person that is lied to actually sad? Why don’t they just forget it, when the lie wasn’t their problem?
The answer is simple: A person is sad not for themselves, but for the person they loved. This is because a relationship cannot be built without trust. Where there is no trust, there is no relationship. And imagine someone that you love but can’t have a relationship with.
A liar can’t understand this. They are surprised not to get a second chance. In the same way, a person that was lied to could be surprised that they didn’t get a first chance—to accept the truth.
The worst thing when we are lied to is finding out that a person we love thinks WE AREN’T WORTH THE TRUTH.
Second Reason: If you don’t want to hurt, don’t hurt.
It sounds like an anecdote, but it isn’t: I didn’t want to hurt them. So I hurt them.
People lie for only two reasons. Either they are weak, or stupid. You don’t want either type of partner in a relationship.
The first type of person is so weak that they can’t defend their own trust—they aren’t able to stand behind their actions, to pay with responsibility. And a weak partner, with all respect to them, should not be in a relationship. A relationship is like a chain. Every relationship is only as strong as the weakest link in the chain. When the weakest link breaks, the whole chain comes off.
In contrast to weak people, strong people think like this in a relationship: If I’m unhappy, either I’ll sort it out with my partner, or I’ll leave. I will never cheat on them. I’ll never lie. Because that would mean not dealing with the problem and also wounding my partner.
The second type of people, the stupid ones, think that when they lie they aren’t hurting their partner. But a lie hurts much more than the truth. Anyway, let’s play soldiers for a moment…
The truth comes to us from the front. A lie is treacherous, it stabs in the back. A lie leads our love (once linked to a smile) to be forever linked to a betrayal.
The size of the lie isn’t important. Small, large, it’s still a lie. And it’s a lie regardless of the reason that leads us to it.
If we really love somebody, we don’t hurt them. This means that we don’t allow a lie to come between us. Regardless of what happens between us, even if we are to lose our partner, we owe each other the truth.
Why does every lie come to light?
What are we playing at when we lie, and why can’t we win?
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