Third Reason: A lie always comes to light.
When you lie, you’re like a gambler playing roulette until the winning stops. The most important word is: UNTIL. It means that there comes a moment when the bet doesn’t pay off. And the price is terrible.
Real gamblers lose money. Big deal – you can alwys learn more! But in love, liars lose what can be lost only once—trustworthiness and reputation—which cannot be won back.
Please bear in mind that no lie is worth your reputation and no genuinely loved person deserves a lie.
Feel free to wound your partner with the truth, but let’s not make a fool of anyone with a lie. We cause pain primarily to ourselves, because we lose those we (very probably) love.
Fourth Reason: If you lie once, all your truths will be called into question.
“Sorry, it was a mistake,” we mouth when we’re caught. It’s enough to make me laugh. Or cry.
A lie is not a mistake or an error. A lie, the same as cheating, is a personal, voluntary decision. It never happens by chance. And it’s always a “risk of doing business” that fails. Why does it have to happen?
Because we have to differentiate the words that we say, and through which we can successfully lie, from the energy that we expend when talking. And that never lies. So let’s have a couple of lines about energy.
SOMETHING tells us who to fall in love with, so at this moment we can trust them. And in the same way SOMETHING says who we can’t trust at any given time.
If another person lies to us, we seem to FEEL it in some way. Something changes inside us, as though our love is falling away. It’s strange, because real love cannot fall away—we tell ourselves. But it can, if a lie enters real love. SOMETHING senses it. A lie has different vibrations to those of the truth.
And then we get punishment; there is probably no crueller. This is because one lie destroys all truths forever. If we lie one time, our partner will always doubt everything we say afterwards. They might even stop believing what we said before we lied.
Fifth Reason: It’s so easy to lose a person with one lie and so hard to get them back with millions of truths.
As soon as we lose a person, we get a life experience: the truth costs nothing, but a lie can cost us absolutely everything. What is this absolutely everything? Not only losing one’s partner, but losing oneself. How does that happen?
A person has to learn to live with a lie. A person that is lied to deals with another person’s lie better than the liar carries the burden of their own untruth.
Notice that a person who tells the truth doesn’t have to remember much. This is because the truth is happening everywhere around us. All you have to do is, with a smile, point to it, clarify it. But a lie is different. We have a lie inside us. In our head. With every additional lie we have to carry, our head grows heavier.
At the start, it does seem like that. Lying seems to be comfortable. It seems that it makes life easier for us, because it’s always easier to get forgiveness from another person (a lie) than approval (the truth).
Over the long term, no lie can be hidden in our head. This is because what we have in our head influences our behaviour. If we accumulate lies in our head and convince our mind that the lies are fine and OK, then our mind starts to put them into the other parts of our life. The lies suddenly enter into relationships with our friends and colleagues, they occur in small things in sport and at work. Whenever a liar behaves naturally, his or her lies grow like a house of cards. All it takes is one slip, one momentary lack of attention, and the whole pack comes tumbling down. Everything that was ever important to us.
We should therefore think long and hard about whether our love is stronger than our weakness and stupidity.
And we shouldn’t lie to people that are important to us. Because a lie always takes us a step away from them.
A step that not even a thousand other truths might be able to correct.
© Petr Casanova