4. I strive to please everyone.
Everyone makes this mistake at some point in their life. Thank God for that. This mistake comes into our life so that we can make it and then never repeat it.
It is absolutely impossible to please everyone. It is often impossible to please nobody other than ourselves. Sooner or later we realise that if we are to be effective at work and happy in life, we have to go our own way and do what feels best for us. We can’t do something that is not in our nature, or that we do not have the skills or traits for, simply because it is how someone else would prefer to see us.
Sooner or later we all learn to make our own decisions. We understand that out of everyone around us, no matter how much they mean well, we have the best chance of understanding ourselves.
Let’s all be determined in this.
The only question is when we start, and how much more time we will waste.
5. I try to change someone else.
Perhaps we don’t mean it badly. We can have the best of intentions when we try to change someone who we think is on a downward spiral and shows no will to change. We’re attracted by the idea that we can fix that “broken” person and they will be grateful to us for the rest of their life. No.
Wise people make this mistake just once and then immediately realise that another person can change only when they are ready, because a person can only be changed by the desires and courage they have inside them.
People who waste time remodelling their negative surroundings very often become negative themselves. It doesn’t work out for them. Moreover, everyone becomes the average of the five people closest to them, with whom they choose to spend most of their time.
This is why a negative person is best changed by a positive environment. That in itself does not change them, but it places them in front of a mirror, which helps them decide to change.
Accept your mistakes. Don’t repeat them.
All in all: Let’s treat life as a teacher.
The people who live successful lives manage to do so purely because they are capable of learning – from their failures just as much as their successes. Regardless of whether they succeed or fail, they ask themselves: Why? Why did it turn out like that?
Why is the customer showing (no) interest in my product?
Why is my partner leaving/coming back, when not long ago he said I was worth it/not worth it?
Let’s not dream. Let’s not live on assumptions. Let’s communicate with others – they’ll tell us the facts.
If we manipulate their response in our minds, we are only hurting ourselves. We won’t be able to break out of the circle.
Yet as soon as we stop being afraid to learn from our mistakes, we always start changing for the better.
© Petr Casanova