His friends called him Samaritan. He felt good when he helped somebody.
He met a woman that deserved help: She had two children to care for and a difficult past behind her. All her partners had tormented her, hurt her, and left her… At least that’s the way she described it.
He decided to save her. They lived together, they raised her children together, and he treated them as his own. He tried to convince her that men could be wonderful… The children blossomed. He liked taking care of her. But…
The relationship started to go wrong. It came to light that, in her spare time, she sought the affections of other men. He discovered that she had been meeting secret suitors, and that there were more of them on the internet. He left demonstratively.
To his amazement he watched from far away and saw that she didn’t miss him at all. It broke his heart that he couldn’t see the children and that she kept bringing new “dads” home. You can bet she was telling them how she had been hurt by everyone and that she needed saving…
Have you ever asked yourself this question: How is it possible that my former partner doesn’t miss me? How is it possible that they don’t notice a difference? Will they realise it? Will they come back?
If you have read my previous posts about a healthy heart, you’ll know how important it is to get rid of naiveté; it is better to accept a clear fact and a painful end than to experience pain without end.
Are you also thinking about how you can contact a former partner? Do your fingers start to itch over the instruction Compose new message? What if the silence from the other side does not mean that they have thrown you overboard, but that they are waiting for you to take the (another) first step?
Should I Keep Waiting?
Was it the one if we can’t get it out of our heads? What if, however, it was only the one for us, not for our former partner? Does it make sense to wait, or to focus our energy in another direction and try to look for another relationship?
Every day, roughly one in every thousand fans on Facebook shares their complicated story with me. Given the current number—270,000 fans—that’s around 270 stories daily. Although every person and every relationship is different, they only differ in the fine nuances. For example, we all have different pain thresholds. Some people are prepared to wait while others have already given up. But all the stories have the same formula: When a relationship lacks something important, it simply won’t survive.
Based on your own stories, I can formulate five heart hooks that will work. A hook is a specific behaviour that writes you into your partner’s heart. Because it is always a quality that is not completely replicated in their contemporary relationships, you can bet your life that sooner or later your former partner will miss you. They will realise what they had and what they’re missing now. The more hooks that you have sunk in, the more it makes sense to wait. You may even seem invaluable to your former partner…
What is unusual? What will benefit us in their memories? When will your former partner—regardless of whether they have remained alone or rapidly jumped into another relationship—realise what they had in you?
Please, continue to the 2nd page.