Time is the most expensive commodity. The only non-renewable quantity.
Everything else can be renewed. The contents of your fridge when they go off. Your muscles when they soften. Money when we spend it. Confidence, work and love, when we lose them.
A solution can always be found, except in the case of time. When we waste it, we will never get it back.
This is why we keep asking: is the way I’m living the right way? Is the partner I want, or have, the best one possible? What should I improve, what should they improve – to prevent both of us wasting time?
In my book 250 Laws of Love I respond to many of the Whys that trouble you in your relationships and today I will tell you about ticking bombs. This is how I refer to attitudes in a relationship that appear to be harmless, but end up being the proverbial drops that fill the cup. In retrospect we can see that there were clear signals that we ignored – and that the relationship could not continue in the long term.
Please be aware of these signals in your own behaviour.
1st signal: you race for the good times
Some people are so obsessed with the idea of a happy ending that they ignore the entire journey leading to it: Even the things they lose and sacrifice along the way.
When they finally reach their desired goal, they find that they are completely alone, and not happy at all. That the goal they have devoted their lives to is not really as valuable as they had imagined.
This is not because the goal was not worth it, but because the journey was not worth it. It is not only the result that makes us happy, but also the journey we take to reach it.
It is the journey that should be our goal. Then it really doesn’t matter whether we get our happy ending, because we experience happiness on the way there. In my book I relate a number of stories about people who appear to be successful and who, for the sake of a heap of gold, have lost everything of true value. They have acquired things, but lost their heart. They have discovered how poor a person can be who only has money.
There is no reason to race for the good times. Those times can be now. Success is not only the last point we reach, but the journey itself – the number and size of the obstacles we have had to overcome to reach this point. In retrospect this is our greatest reward and the source of our strength.
People who race for the good times at work often have the same attitude in their relationships. They think that everything will be alright in the end. But in relationships, things should be good now. Just as in life. Otherwise we won’t be happy – happiness can’t be lived in the future, it has to be now.
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