Imagine that you are a soldier.
You have a goal.
You are getting closer to it.
On the way, you have to get rid of one enemy fighter, a second, third,…
You must not lose your way, and need to use your power, bullets, strategy efficiently.
And suddenly – bang! A shot to your back.
What was that?
You turn around. The person who was supposed to have your back is aiming at you. Another comrade trips you up. A third one gives you a blank cartridge. The fourth screams that you will not make it anyway, the fifth one says you are a loser, and the sixth one tells you he never believed in you.
Does this seem like a bad movie? In fact, it is a scene from life. And a common one.
The path to any worthwhile goal is not easy. You have to deal with a product, competition, clients and yourself. To manage it all you need to have at least one place in the world where nobody criticizes you, gossips about you or hurts you. Somewhere you can heal your wounds, get support, energy, and respect for what you have already achieved or at least for what you are like.
I was looking for this place on the map; it does not exist. I was looking at the postcodes; there are none relating to it. This is because there is no such place; it needs to be created. You do not need any land or an apartment. It can be created anywhere. Among people.
The e-mails that hurt me most say things such as: „I want to work on myself but my partner takes hope, energy and trust from me. How do I convince him? How do I implore him? How do I stand it?“
If a friend puts a triggered grenade into the hand of a man from the battlefield, I am sorry, but there is nothing to implore or stand. The only question everybody should ask at that moment, is: How can my current situation get better?I am afraid that whichever way you point the triggered grenade, whatever angle you look at it from, if you consider it positively or negatively, if you pad it or try to change his mind, there is nothing you can do to change things. It is not a coincidence, bad luck or fate. It is simply the soldier’s choice to hold it in his hand for longer than neccesary.
People who have achieved significant success, people who have gone as far as possible in the front line of life, have always stressed that it was not only thanks to them, not only thanks to the ways they had chosen, not only the surroundings they overcame, but most of all their success was thanks to their background – the people who watched out for them.
They have all warned me about six types of people who you can never get far with, because they are a bigger threat to your succes than the competition, a negative client or a bad product.
I do not take triggered grenades to my office or my bed and I do not walk though my life with one in my. I want them out of my lifeas soon as possible because the amount of devastation they can cause is destructive.
What type of people are they?
(Forces us to be someone who we are not or who we do not want to be)
A quality relationship works on the following principles
1) Its participants appreciate the things that they have in common.
2) Its participants respect the things that make them different.
Because no two people on the world are identical, it is therefore neccesary to be tolerant in a relationship and willing to compromise. What is a compromise? It is a state when two people meet in the middle. A compromise means we don‘t have to completely change who we are, but instead take into consideration another person’s feelings and opinions.
If we let ourselves be forced to be somebody else, we take a step back. It might sounds hard but it is better to lose a relationship and remain true to yourself than to pretend that you are somebody else for your whole life. It is easier to handle a moment of sadness and then meet somebody else, rather than to build your identity from scratch. It is easier to fill an empty space in your life, where somebody else used to be, rather than to fill an empty space in yourself, where we used to be before.
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